Show #17 Top Gear Live, SSE Hydro, Glasgow

I’m amazed that this post isn’t just hgfll mrplll bsckyzkkzyzk. Allow me to explain.

My first love, yesterday, with some lesser cars

It’s not the easiest to make out, but fourth from the left is the Ferrari F40.

Not yesterday

I often joke that Celtic were my first love and indeed, like all first loves, they have broken my heart like no other can. However, when I think about it properly, the chronology may well be wrong.

I can’t remember the first time I saw the F40. What I can remember is it taking pride of place on my bedroom wall, and the wonder I felt when I learned it had a top speed of 201mph. Such a speed was all but unimaginable to the four/five year old me, used to my dad’s Vauxhall Nova van. The fact it was the last Ferrari to be signed off by the legendary Enzo added to the mystique.

Anyway, this post isn’t about my twenty-five, possibly twenty-six year love of a single car, even if seeing it rendered me speechless for a good couple of minutes last night. But it does serve to highlight the ability of Top Gear Live to awaken the five year old inside me and rediscover my love of cars.

I’ve been a bit sensible of late. Having tired of the endless problems my Renault Megane CC gave me (although I did love posing with the roof down) I sold it two and a half years ago and have yet to replace it. Living in the centre of Edinburgh means I can get to anywhere I need to be by public transport or bike. And truth be told I haven’t missed having a car. Sure, on the odd occasion I idly think it might be useful but in the main I enjoy having time to read on the way to work and the lack of worry that something will go wrong leaving me with a huge bill.

I fear those days are over.

As you’d expect, this was a show that celebrated everything automotive. As well as the supercar parade above, we were treated to  car curling, car hurdling (you haven’t lived until you’ve seen a man jump over a Lamborghini Murcielago), scooter-powered chariot racing and a frankly absurd display of motorcycle daredevilness, along with some nods to the TV show such as car football, Reliant Robin racing and auto-testing whilst SAS snipers fired upon The Stig and Jeremy Clarkson (The Stig’s Caterham Superlight R500 being a more attainable aspiration than a F40), all served up with oodles of schoolboy humour you’d expect from the three presenters. At £69 a ticket it wasn’t a cheap night out (although I have to thank my dad for treating me) but for a petrolhead it was certainly an enjoyable one.

A mention must go to the Hydro as well. I was very impressed by this new purpose built venue, having comfy seats, excellent views and a good number of concession stalls, I shan’t be disappointed if I have cause to return.

Show #16 Celtic vs Partick Thistle, 1 January 2014

Tired writer, flat crowd (understandably given the lack of public transport and probable hangovers) and lacklustre performance. Lucky to take the three points from it.

Show #15 Don Giovanni, Scottish Opera, Festival Theatre

I was the lucky recipient of a very cheap ticket to see this back in November and really should have blogged about it at the time. Too long has passed really now so this post is only here in the interests of completeness. It was fantastic though.

Show #14: Russell Brand: Messiah Complex, Usher Hall, 12 October 2013

Those who know me know I am a big admirer of Russell Brand. Therefore anything I say will be clouded by this. Suffice to say, if you like RB you’d love this show, if not then you probably wouldn’t.

In which case you’re wrong.

Show #13 Celtic vs St Johnstone, Celtic Park, 21 September

FT Celtic 2 1 St Johnstone.

A fairly forgettable match, should have been wrapped up but a late goal for the visitors led to a panicked final few minutes.

Show #12 From Death to Death and Other Small Tales

It took me a long time to adjust to living in Edinburgh. Skint, living on my own for the first time, knowing no one. One of the few things that got me through was the Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art. Specifically driving past and seeing this

Everything Is Going To Be Alright

With my usual tardiness, I was able to enjoy Masterpieces from the Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art and the D.Daskaloupos Collection just before it closed.

Wandering around made me feel small again. But with the strength that’s come from knowing I got through those tough times when I first moved here. Knowing that it gets better and that if need be I could come through it again added another layer of pleasure to the exhibition.

Particular favourite was Ernesto Neto’s “It happens when the body is anatomy of time”

Although it was a tough choice, with even the exhibition poster looking fantastic. Have to now get a frame for it.

If only I hadn’t left it to the last minute I could conclude this post by recommending this. Instead I have to just recommend you check out the gallery itself.

Show #11 Woolly Mammoth Panic Attack

I said in my review of Lebensmüde that there was a great misconception that free fringe shows are free because they’re rubbish. Last night I experienced a show that allowed me to see where this idea would spring from.

Ostensibly a show about love, sadly Matt Nagin gave the impression he would rather be anywhere else as he delivered a series of tired “gags” (sample: when discussing living with his Muslim girlfriend in a two bedroom apartment, his was Israel, her room was Palestine and the hallway the Gaza Strip. Chortle).

Halfway through I started thinking that maybe I should try to perform next year as I couldn’t possibly be any more painful to watch. If your set is 50% made up of the words “it’s a joke” then you need to get better jokes.

Show #10 James Cook – Adventures on Air

This was a real laugh-a-minute journey into the world of “local commercial radio”. He points out the absurdity of considering radio DJs celebrities (“I couldn’t get noticed by the reception staff in the front office”) through stories such as the time he was a guest judge for Dancing on Ice. He exposes the shady practices behind phone-in competitions. He has a league table of how long Z-List celebrities spent in the toilet. Yet it’s all delivered with warmth that shows while he may have thought his career was absurd, there was a real enjoyment if not love of it.

Show #9 Coin-Operated Girl

Or, to give it its full title: The Coin-Operated Girl – A Sex Workers Real Life Revelations of Frivolous Fornications!

Miranda Kane tells the tale of how she became Melody, a plus-sized sex worker. Plenty of laughs on the essentials for escorts, the top ten wishes of her former clients and why she decided it was time to call it quits. She is a highly engaging stand-up and the hour flew by. Sadly, today was the last show of her run but definitely one to look out for in future years.

http://www.coinoperatedgirl.co.uk

Show #8 Lebensmüde – A Comedy Show

The biggest misconception at the Edinburgh Festival is probably that shows on the Free Fringe must be free because they are rubbish. Yes, even bigger than the idea that Edinburgh in August is representative of Scotland as a whole.

The key word in that paragraph is misconception.

 Lebensmüde could quite possibly be the most shining of examples. An incredibly witty set of sketches started off pretty low-key, but soon had myself and the rest of the packed room guffawing uncontrollably. There’s a warmth to the characters too, and if you leave not rooting for Steve in his pursuit of Viv then you don’t have a soul.

Tomorrow’s the last show so catch it if you can.

http://lebensm.tumblr.com/